


(ex)boyfriend tag

by daelighted



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, Exes to Lovers, M/M, Social Media Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26171773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daelighted/pseuds/daelighted
Summary: pennystupid_theclown.tumblr.com:it’s flat fuck friday! ask me anything sluts
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen
Comments: 29
Kudos: 130
Collections: Lil' Something Fest 2020





	(ex)boyfriend tag

**Author's Note:**

> a casual scroll down kim jongdae’s tumblr

**anon** asked:who’s your favourite animal crossing villager king?  what if i said it was moose  #anon#it's actually ankha tho#cat villagers are superior 24 notes 

**babybear** asked:hey jongdae i’m borrowing your headphones okay love you  MY HEADPHONES HAVE BEEN WITH YOU FOR MONTHS JONGIN  #this kid... 5 notes 

**anon** asked:very important q would you rather have nipples for toes or toes for nipples  good question. but i think i need more information on how this works. does having toes for nipples mean your feet are boobs? does nipples for toes mean your boobs are feet? actually, i think since nipples are pretty sensitive i wouldn’t want them constantly touching the ground when i walk. that doesn't sound nice.  so i guess my final answer is: toes for nips  #anon#such a thought provoking question #you deserved a serious answer anon  67 notes 

**anon** asked:had it not been for your cute boyfriend i would have proposed already!  well. this is awkward.  #anon#youtube mua influencer voice: we broke up... #so propose away anon 92 notes 

**anon** asked:HOLD ON A SECOND. WHAT????YOU AND BAEKHYUN BROKE UP?????  yeah  #anon#ahh i know i'm joking around and stuff... #but this happened quite recently and i'd really rather not talk about it 44 notes 

**anon** asked:i hope you finally get that shiba inu you've been dreaming about but it hates you and leaves you for your more handsome friends  help i left to pee for five minutes and in that time you sent like 4 more of these are you okay? 😭  #anon#what's happening!!!! 37 notes 

**anon** asked:i hope you psspsspss at a cat and it just hisses at you and scratches your hand  this will never happen, cat recognises cat  #anon#idk am i finally getting cancelled or something? #is it because i said ratatouille is an extension of the glee universe  31 notes 

**anon** asked:I HOPE THE NEXT TIME YOU USE A PUBLIC RESTROOM SOMEONE WALKS UP TO YOU AND PEES ON YOUR LEG  you volunteering?  #anon#that ratatouille post is evidence based#i mean have you SEEN mr shuester??????#that man is a rat 77 notes 

pennystupid_theclown  ohmega ohmega jongdae getting cancelled we love to see it  pennystupid_theclown Source: ohmega #sehun is not allowed to speak 15 notes 

**anon** asked:i hope the next plant you bring into your house withers and dies when you sing to it  what's the opposite of a green thumb because that's what i have actually  #anon#you're not wrong anon that's what happens anyway sdfkjdk 47 notes 

**anon** asked:i hope you start bullet journaling but are never satisfied with your layouts and spreads you virgo sun cancer moon bitch  HELP DJDJSXKXK  #anon#HOW DO YOU KNOW MY SIGNS #how do you know my struggles 😔 35 notes 

**anon** asked:hell is the final resting place for anyone sending jongdae hate. the streets will fill with the wails of the elderly, the ground will be barren, the graves dessecrated, the land will not bear fruit, the rivers will run dry, the sun will not rise nor the moon pull the tide a  PLEASE 😭😭😭  #anon#the war in my inbox right now#but guys don't worry i seriously think it's an irl trolling or something dfsjkng 19 notes 

**anon** asked:i hope you get kicked out every time you try to play among us with your friends  is this the best you got?  #anon#you're not tired? 11 notes 

pennystupid_theclown okay okay, intermission. if you're still camped in my askbox, the least you could do is stream magnetic moon.  #tiffany#ult #can you believe she dropped the best song of 2019 just like that#this one goes out to all my virgo sun cancer moon bitches 74 notes 

**anon** asked:i hope a bird swoops down and pecks you on the head every time you go for a walk  not you reminding me of my bird trauma smh  #anon#good thing i don't have class today cos#captain america voice: i could do this all day 14 notes 

**anon** asked:okay i don't mean to interrupt the fun but i still can't believe you and baekhyun broke up :( i mean, you guys were so perfect together? but more importantly... are you okay?  ah well, to be honest i don't wanna say i'm okay but you know.. it is what it is i guess.  #anon 21 notes 

pennystupid_theclown okay i didn't want to make this post but since so many of you keep spamming my inbox asking me what happened with b*ekhyun, i will divulge.  we had a bit of a misunderstanding a few weeks ago about... god it was really stupid and it was my fault to be honest because he didn't reply to my texts and i got mad, which is awful of me i know, i know! i shouldn't have snapped cos i know how he gets when he's got assignments and stuff... but anyway, it led to an argument which... led to another argument and another and another. and maybe it was midterms getting to both of us but suddenly all we seemed to do was fight and unleash all these repressed feelings and yeah. it just sucked a lot.  next thing you know we're both tired and drained from school and fighting and everything else we have going on. it seemed like a good idea at the time to just break up.  that's all i wanna say about everything right now. i really appreciate the concern you guys but please stop asking me about it.  #the fact that he hasn't answered my last texts anyway lol#he's so fucking stupid and i miss him a lot but fucking whatever #i hate stupid boys all my homies hate stupid boys!!! 65 notes 

**anon** asked:i hate you. i hate your stupid face. the only reason your tumblr famous is because you have a cute smile or whatever but do you actually know how stupid you look when your lips curl up in the corners whenever you smile? do you know how stupid you look when your eyes scrunch up in the corners when you're happy? fuck you  you're*  #anon#it's okay to write me paragraphs on how much you love me 29 notes 

**anon** asked:and you think you’re soooo funny but your sense of humour is so whack like who even laughs at bad panoramas of dogs that much? you quote vines everyday and spend hours on tiktok and you’re still not the comedian you think you are jongdae i hate you i hate how much you make me laugh you fucking asshole  we get it, you’re in love with me 😭  #anon#for real thank you though anon these have been an entertaining distraction in tough times 14 notes 

**anon** asked:and you’re so annoying when you talk especially when all you do is regurgitate whatever you’ve learned from your stupid podcasts, like who the fuck cares if ants take several one-minute naps a day? why don’t you start your own podcast like you’ve always wanted to so people (OTHER PEOPLE. OTHER PEOPLE!!!! NOT ME!!!!!) can listen to your dumb voice all day  how bad do you wanna kiss me, be honest baby  #anon#still trying to figure out who this and it's kinda killing me tbh!!! 12 notes 

**anon** asked:and you think it’s so cute to stick googly eyes on random furniture and stuff to scare people but it’s so fucking lame and the way you hum to yourself when you make tea is not the cute little quirk you think it is and who the fUCK doesn’t know how to read analog clocks you’re so charming and stupid I HATE YOU SO MUCH  wait a second.  #umgmf is this who i think it is?#this is uhhh way too specific to be anybody else 27 notes 

**ichigotime** asked:and NOPE NO FUCK YOU JONGDAE WHY DO YOU MAKE IT SO EASY TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOU I HOPE YOU TRY AND MAKE ONE OF THOSE STUPID MICROWAVE MUG PANCAKES AGAIN AND YOUR MICROWAVE EXPLODES  ………….baek… you realise you forgot to hit anon this time right?  #well i suppose this changes everything 83 notes 

**ichigotime** asked:FUCK  lmaoooo  #hfdfn not my heart fluttering 22 notes 

**ichigotime** asked:FUCK YOOOOU  hey if you wanna get back together you can just say so baekhyun  #idiot#typical baekhyun 34 notes 

**ichigotime** asked:..  answer your phone baek  #fucking dumbass#but i guess he’s my dumbass?#fingers crossed 32 notes 

pennystupid_theclown  ichigotime nickyeols whoA jongdae sprinted out the house so fast you'd think he heard the ice cream truck or something :0  ichigotime begone furry, he's with the love of his life  Source: nickyeols #i sure am 23 notes 

**Author's Note:**

> this is all code.. yes.. all of it... i cried for Seven Days and Seven Nights trying to figure this sh*t out. my dear reader, i really hope you like it 😔
> 
> biggest shoutout to:  
> \- phyripo, for without you my breakdown would span the duration of a whole year  
> \- the mods for hosting this wonderful fest for our bee day boy <3  
> sigh. 10% of the profits to j and another 10% to a. love u both


End file.
